So…hair has already been cut to a short style – apparently the short style I would have chosen for myself could soon have looked like a very bad comb-over if I do start to lose it. I trusted my hairdresser and let him cut it as he thought best which looks good, even if I already don’t recognise myself. Doing all I can to save it but have been told not to count on it and if I do start to lose it, it will be after second chemo (only 2 and a half weeks away).
So…can I now be trusted to choose my own wig? I can’t quite believe that I am spending this afternoon browsing wig catalogues (with Raquel Welch on the cover!) rather than spending time watching Come Dine With Me or similar… My style radar may be rather off piste at present and I fear, left to my own devices, I might end up rather more Mrs Overall than anyone more stylish. I have rallied troops to help me decide when I venture into the shop to make my choice so watch this space….
Having had a few days when I felt better than I thought I should have, today feels below par. Hopefully that means the drugs are doing something but my concentration is zilch and I feel rather light headed. I understand that one of the tablets that helps with nausea is also a stimulant so “nodding off” is not an option so I have opted for the opposite end of the spectrum and am watching latest the series of “Luther” on telly that I missed when it was aired…Cats doze (as usual) and wait for another meal – wish I could too!
Hope tomorrow may be better…
So had my first chemo (of six) yesterday. An odd experience. I sat with the cool cap on feeling like an astronaut might. Fortunately the “helmet” was red – one of MY colours so that must bode well..A nurse sat pushing the cocktail of drugs through me whilst my friend Mandy and I , sat and snacked on the picnic she had prepared – dips, olives, home-grown tomatoes, M&S courgette & halloumi pastries and fruit salad. The whole thing seemed very surreal. When it was done and helmet had been on for long enough we went home…
So far no sickness, no fatigue (but Stuart has taken on that symptom for me!) – rather feel like I am sitting and waiting for the bad stuff to start but meantime..Didn’t sleep well but today have already done pilates, had breakfast, done my on-line food shoping and contacted some friends. May as well whilst I can.
Tomorrow is another “doing” day – have to make appointment for wig fitting (why does this make me think of Dick Emery?) …check I have another clinic appointment, make an appointment for more blood tests and continue to make sense of my tablets. I have had 13 already today…Now waiting for district nurse to arrive and inject some more anti-sickness meds. It is a full-time job.
High point so far is that my hair now dries without 15 minutes of hair dryer “treatment” and needs very little shampoo.
So I now have very short hair, which everyone seems to like…or say they like! First chemo looms in a couple of hours and I am trying to make sense of the very complicated chart I have for 3 types of anti-sickness drugs to be started now. I know this was all explained to me in detail only a couple of days ago but now it looks like a page of semaphore signals.
My back has been playing its merry tricks on me overnight so 6 amitryplyline later I was finally able to get downstairs and put myself through a gentle Pilates workout or it will worsen as day progresses.
I am told that this cool cap (attempting to keep my hair) is very, very cold – suppose the clue is in the name – but taking woolly things to keep me warm seems rather bizarre on this warm clammy morning.
I had good news late yesterday, that my scans are all clear and that the cancer is limited to breast, lymph, pecs and chest wall…so we are aiming for cure rather than treatment.
Let the treatment commence….
Last week, I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and I wanted to write this blog about this journey on which I am embarking.
I have got undressed more times in the past 7 days than seems possible. I have been prodded and poked. I have had all sorts of things stuck into my veins and skin and have stood, laid down on the most elaborate bits of kit. I have heard and read so much information in the past few days that it has been like cramming for exams when you know the year’s work has not been done and the trepidation is much the same! Only difference being that this really is life or death.
Low point this week was probably an MRI – lying face downwards with boobs fitting through 2 holes obviously designed for those without the breast cancer swelling. I then had an infusion of something that makes you feel like you have wet yourself. Get the idea? It’s been great!
I still have to face hairdresser today to have my hair cut shorter before it starts to fall out. I hate my hair when short but guess I will have having none even more…will try “cold cap” and hope for the best.
Health-wise I am now “chemo ready” – mentally I am not.
If treatment success depended on the support I am being given, I will sail through – I never realised how many fantastic friends and family I had and how much strength they can give. I know I won’t be able to keep in touch with everyone as much as I would like but will try and write this blog instead…