False dawn

I have not blogged for a few days as I have been absorbing “new developments”.

I had a call from the hospital to ask me to come in for further tests. It appears that the clear scans were not as clear as previously thought. There is now cause for concern that I have numerous metastatic lymph nodes (I think this is the correct term) on the left hand side and in the collar bone.  (Source of cancer had all been on the right hand side). Obviously this indicates a spread of this aggressive cancer which is not good news.

On Monday I will be going for a fine needle aspiration which will enable the doctors to identify what has spread. It will also mean a change of treatment and, it is likely, we are now talking treatment rather than cure. Nothing is certain at this stage but I think that this is the nature of the beast – nothing is ever going to be certain with cancer.

I am not being negative – just realistic. I think the only way I can do this is to be truthful – both to myself and those supporting me. I don’t want to hear any more “battle” terms nor do I need reminding to stay positive. I am a positive person and you all know will not take this lying down, but my body does seem to be throwing one too many hissy fits for my liking…

I await to see what treatment will be offered when I have the results of Monday’s test…I do hope I am not going to miss out on my NHS boob job!

I embrace the NHS with all my being but…amidst all this I have discovered that the way to get a “prescription” contribution for my wig – I have to go to the hospital cashier and make a payment of £69.70 to the hospital. In return I will be given a voucher to the value of £135 (I think that’s what they said) and if the selected wig costs more then you pay the shop the balance. (What a surprise to discover that the ones I “fancied” in the catalogue cost significantly more than that!) I am not sure that anyone could have thought up a less user-friendly system if they had tried. What if you try wigs and decide against? (no refund). What if you go to wig shop and choose then try and get your “prescription” afterwards (not possible). Gotta laugh…