After a lovely few days with friends, family, lovely food and sunshine – tomorrow I am hospital bound again. Sometimes it is easy to forget why I have all this free time and have had the opportunity to catch up with so many people and then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remember…

Just a clinic appointment tomorrow before I am back for round 2? cycle 2? of my chemo. I feel fine today so it is hard to think of the multiple symptoms I have suffered in the past fortnight. Sadly, not quite like childbirth when the memories of pain can fade quite quickly (or they did for me!) as I suspect the same and possibly even new variations of discomfort, sickness and other delights may develop as I go through this 3 weekly toxic dosing but that will come soon enough.

I got quite excited today thinking about the novel I still want to write that is hardly more than embryonic despite over a year’s gestation.  I have been being encouraged for months to “just get on with it” whilst I declare that I  cannot seriously get stuck in until I am “better” or “better-er”.  I could easily write the book of excuses. Starting to think I should be using the good days to make some progress, who knows how many tomorrows any of us have left!

At a party on Saturday somebody asked me what I do….Good question…what do I do now?Maybe the answer is that I procrastinate! Surely this horrid disease should, at least be teaching me to stop and do what I can when I can…


4 thoughts on “Dilly-dallying

  1. Dear Wendy,
    Do hope you can stop dilly-dallying! We know that you have a book there to be written and we want to see it in print very soon, hopefully you will be able to just do it!
    Sent with love


    I read your blog, and you write so well, I must admit to almost enjoying reading them, although that probably sounds all wrong, given the subject matter. But you do write so very well, you have such a voice: humour, sadness, tenderness and humanity. Yes, I shall add my voice to the others in urging you to get on with your novel.
    I would love to see you, and the loose plans we have for meeting at your son’s restaurant (I have promoted him to owner now…) together with the old Marston gang is something I look forward to and hope can happen soon. Probably best if you suggest a date, any day of the week is fine for me to come in to OX.
    I do hope your next round of treatment goes well and causes you less discomfort.
    Not quite like childbirth, indeed.
    On that subject: I am to be a grandmother in January! Maria is expecting, – and it’s wonderful. I have knitted two little cardigans and a baby blanket, – the cold winter weather in Norway makes an excellent excuse to keep knitting ! Although perhaps I should try to curb my enthusiasm a little, as I’ve seen a wonderful card with a photo (old fashioned style) of a little boy all wrapped up in knitted stuff, the caption: ‘ LIfe would be so much better if only my mum would stop knitting!’
    Thinking of you every day, sending you healing thoughts.

    With love,
    Gro x


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