Tutti-frutti dreams

So…I am being asked what happens when I am not sleeping or reading. There’s a question! Life is so much slower than it has ever been and I get tired very easily. However this is counterbalanced by spending considerably less time worrying about the small stuff…which naturally, used to feel like the big stuff! I also just agree to more things than I used to – what made me think that expressing an opinion, often one I had only just chanced upon, was so important that we had to disagree about so much? And anger about the disease just seems pointless it would just curdle any positive energy.

I spend lots of time perplexing about all sorts of oddities that my body spits out: such as burning rashes in the late evening in the shape of bite marks up my arms, eyes watering and positively spurting liquid (like cartoon characters) when there is “something” in the air and similar new day-to-day activities, and there always is “something” new to add to all the regular stuff!

Obviously there is online shopping..who knew you could spend so much money without ever getting dressed or leaving the house! The online food shopping does fill a disproportionate amount of time but it does give a lot of pleasure! The fridge is currently in full-on groaning with joy mode…(NB not all fridges have this mode!)

When I was taken out to sort out my glasses the other day (there – something else that fills my days), we were discussing how bright the world seems when you have been at home/hospital for a while and it reminded me of a poem I had written years ago which somehow now seems relevant – I guess the post-chemo days are the grey days and I am trying to fill the rest of my time with as much vivid, wacky colour and life as I am able and if not doing that I am planning the next pursuits!

Waking from 500 Days of Yawning Greys

 Tutti-frutti Lucy

Whispers frippery

To the beige-souled women

Who harbour a flirtation in citrus

A watermelon redondo

Or a flamingo funk.


Monochrome memory

Is cast asunder by

Neon tumbleweed, Honeydew jazz

And a cuddle of honeysuckle

Tinged with lavender laughter

That’s Tutti-frutti Lucy.


Kicking & screaming

Frigid grey is slapped

Into a feckless magenta dawn

Where chrome goldfish

Party in acid lime

Tutti-frutti dreams…with Lucy


4 thoughts on “Tutti-frutti dreams

    1. Great words. I remember that sensation in 2006 when Hampstead Rd seemed like life itself and gorgeous. It has been voted the most dismal road in London, but not for me on that day. Sal xx


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