It seems that I am about to sprint, like Hermes (the winged God not the home delivery service!) out of the waiting room and into the surgeons’ arms. Maybe the waiting room hasn’t been as bad as I have been making out! I now have the coming weeks mapped out with a variety of hospital appointments – scans next week to see if my drug treatment is working post-chemo, then dermatology to finally try and diagnose and treat the rash on my arm which has been there since last summer despite months of antibiotics and unguents. The following week I meet the breast surgeon who will lay out the options for me but mastectomy is the recommended route as, if the cancer returns, it will likely be to the same spot . The mastectomy however is no guarantee that it won’t return. The surgery will involve removing the lymph nodes under my arm as well as breast/s. When asking about this I discovered that I could develop lymphoedema in the arm, which is not medically worrying. It may not be medically worrying but jeepers – have a look at Google images – it doesn’t look very nice at all – almost as bad as the large swollen breast which was medically worrying….Hmmm…I am no longer differentiating the worrying – it is all just one big mountain of worry.
I could soon be the scarred flat chested woman with balloon arms covered in rash – how appealing! Can hardly wait for that swimsuit moment! But of course there is the reconstruction/ implant /prosthesis or prostheses conversation to have as well.
As well as this I am also attending a pre-op appointment in orthopaedics re my back. The plan being that if they can “slip” the breast surgery in quickly then I may be ready (really?) for the back surgery when the date comes up.
Fingers crossed that there will be no interventions the week of the Oxford Literary Festival at the end of the month as I really want to go to the events I have booked…