Yesterday brought forth 4 hospital appointment letters – oncology consultant, dermatology, orthopaedics and echocardiogram. As if this didn’t fill my diary enough I also had 4 new appointments for my 3 weekly regular treatment. Post-surgery it looks like it will be radiotherapy which I think means daily treatment for weeks – by then, I will be needing a diary manager! Am supposed to be exercising to re-build my stamina but I am struggling to find a “window” for this.
Good news is that at the moment I am still managing to fit some regular life in as well as being able to attend the Literary Festival next week. After that life may segue into a completely blurred world of hospitals.
Tomorrow is decision day re breast surgery. I have come up with a list of questions that I may have to try and prune today. Whilst obviously concerned about the procedures, pain relief and recovery I also have a myriad of other (more practical) things to ask. How many prostheses do you get/need? Do you wash them? by hand? washing machine? Do they need changing regularly? Are there different summer & winter varieties? (like duvets!). Also what size will reduced breast be? I had an accident in swimming pool (no…not that sort of accident..) but the bra cup in my cossie tore (leaving me exposed!), which means I need a new one…but what size? Can I risk getting one to fit now or not?
I also seem fairly fixated on the fact that if I want to have a double mastectomy I need to see a psychologist. Fair enough but wonder why this is clinically considered to be worse than having toxic chemicals pumped through you and losing your hair. I suspect because it is permanent. I still think that I will be forever haunted by the hair loss rather than the breast loss.
* Giant Brest is the name of a friend’s bike shop in Brest (France) – just thought it was funny! Humour seems to be the best way to deal will all the above….
At least you are kept busy, perhaps this is part of the treatment – no time to dwell on ifs, buts and maybes. Enjoy the festival, take care. Love C x
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What a laugh …. all things taken into account! Missing you xx
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