I have now had my new right breast for a week and I seem to be using it more for entertainment value than for its dedicated purpose. I have slipped it in and out my bra to show any interested parties (and they have been many); discussed whether prostheses come in different colours (only putty shades appear in the catalogues); been encouraged into a bit of random body shaking to see if the prosthesis shakes in the same way as regular boobs and…as if this wasn’t enough I have been caught out at the front door holding it in my hand and having to act in a nonchalant way…
I have spent many a happy hour scouring the catalogues in a consumer frenzy. It is akin to a first trip to Ikea – discovering things you never knew you needed until you saw them – how can I now manage without “Been-a-boob” – a designer beanbag that comes in every size? (for £29.99!) or “Bodicool Wave” for £148 or even “Active Ocean” for £72…This isn’t cheap retail therapy and I’m only at the bargain basement. Think I would be happier to be without any “natural bounce”!
Distractions aside – my heart seems to be working OK (according to latest echocardiogram on Monday) – “working out” (?) in the gym tells me otherwise but happy to bow to the electronic judgement. Although I am steadily building up my time on the cross-trainer (and similar) I am convinced that minutes in the gym are measured in a different way from minutes outside the gym. I try to distract myself and not look at the timer constantly and, when, what seems like 10 minutes has passed…I look down, only to discover that barely 90 seconds has elapsed…I am obviously not at peak fitness just yet!
I nearly missed out on my regular cancer treatment dose yesterday as there was some worry about giving it with my “leprosy” (which is coming along nicely…) but I have another appointment with the Dermatology later today so could possibly have some answers…will Dr Champagne have a diagnosis…or even better, a cure…?