I am now on the shelf with April (the wig) and my prosthesis. My husband has left me today for “a different life”… Moved out lock, stock and cases of wine!
Hard to know what to say. This wasn’t intended to be a blog about me – rather me and my experience of my illness. However it is impossible not to share the fact that my mainstay has shipped out and I am cowering in the wreckage that is my life, feeling feral.
I am often described as being strong but I’m not sure how strong I really am…or, want to be. What I do want is to dig a hole…(except, maybe I am already in it)…and howl, lick my wounds and stay under everyone’s radar for a while.
Please, please don’t phone me...I need to find my own way to cope and I can’t explain to others something I don’t understand myself.
Meantime, medical “stuff” does not pause and it’s back to the oncologist tomorrow. Maybe I will discover that it’s “normal” for women to be left when facing a diagnosis like mine…I’ve had just about my fill of this journey now…Why me? Why not me?
Just how bad can life possibly get?