Being positive…not…

The  endless autumn/winter seems to have arrived today. Struggling to summon up the necessary stoicism to face it…or indeed anything much else at the moment. More a case of going through the motions. This living in the moment stuff is much harder than it may appear. As usual, at this time of year, I yearn to hibernate – more so than ever this autumn…I dream of burrowing away (sleeping…now wouldn’t that be great?) and waking up to sunny blue skies and no problems…

Had a conversation yesterday with a fellow cancer friend/victim/sufferer/patient….We debated our “pet cancer hate” which is constantly being told to be positive – what’s that all about? Nobody else is always positive, why should we be? We’ll be positive, like others, when there is something to feel positive about! Oddly, having had my prospective life torn from me by two people with no apparent moral compass, I am not in the most positive frame of mind. However…they do say that revenge is a dish best served cold.

Meantime I spend my day filling in endless forms with endless blank sections as none of the choices available to select seem to apply to me. I seem to be the same anomaly to bureaucracy as I am to medicine…

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2 thoughts on “Being positive…not…

  1. Hello Wendy,

    I happened upon your blog and read the latest post (it is May22, 2015), and was intrigued and then went back and read your blog from the beginning. So voyeuristic! I feel like a stalker. I have triple negative breast cancer, with an elusive tumour that never was found—it pumped five lymph nodes full of cancer and took off, waiting I guess to be found in the next three years.

    I love your writing. I love your outlook. And I love your friends, so many and so loyal. I was quietly working my way through when I got to this post and saw no comments. What? This was the first post with no comments since your first post in July 2013, so I felt I had to say hello.

    Staying positive is for magnets, not for people with crap like cancer and adulterous husbands and opportunistic friends-turned-bitch-whores. You stay alive, that’s all anyone can ask of us.

    Following you now, officially.

    xo

    Jacquelyn

    Like

    1. Thank you Jacquelyn…I somehow see blogging as legitimate stalking! I have been stalking you too now but can’t work out how to “follow”.
      Pleased to say that my friends/family safety net is not letting me go…Life is tough but not ready to let go yet…x

      Liked by 1 person

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