What’s normal?

After a rather protracted trough I think I am now being dosed with a large enough dose of anti-depressants to make me feel normal, or abnormal – depending on perspective!

I spent yesterday afternoon being dosed with Herceptin at home. It is a curious situation being treated at home. The nurse has to observe you, as the drug infuses over a couple of hours and, as we are both sitting on armchairs in the living room,  it feels like the only  option is to talk to each other. I think it would seem very rude to pull out my book to read. This enforced intimacy is rather bizarre and, I imagine, rather like the confessional…This was the second time this nurse had visited so I “know” her now!

I learned about the tomato varieties she grew this year, how the housework is shared in her house, the unpredictability of cancer…and more…She learned about the novel I talk a lot about writing and  the emotional fallout of the divorce process. We had a long discussion on hair loss from chemo. She told me that I was in the majority (of “her” ladies) who suffered far more from loss of their hair than from the loss of a breast. How soon, I wonder until we look back on chemotherapy and wonder how patients possibly subjected themselves to its brutality? The two hours flew by! Next time we plan to discuss assisted dying/refusing treatment and Dignitas!

Scans and echocardiogram now loom…