As ever it is two steps forward, one step back but, after last week’s good scan results, I am starting to feel that I can…maybe…gain some momentum. My bruised coccyx is somewhat limiting the speed of this…However this is only a problem when getting up from seated or lying down, or trying to do sit-ups so maybe I just need to do less of all of that! My head “bump” also seems to be sorting itself out and scabbing over – fortunately now covered by a profusion of dark but curly hair…I am a very different person both on the outside and the inside.
And…no medical appointments this week. This is the first time I can remember this happening so that must be a good thing.
So a chance to sit back and think where my life (however long) goes from here. I am still pulling out the embedded thorns in my side (and in my heart) and still lose sleep as I turn over and over on them, but I am finally getting some sleep now. Glory be to the right dose of the right anti-depressants!
It is a common enough premise that cancer changes you and for everyone it must be different. Last week I caught the end of an item on Woman’s Hour about a new book by Marian Keyes called “The Woman Who Stole My Life” – apparently it’s humorous…but, despite its title, which rings so many bells, it is not a parallel to my past year’s experience of what happened when I got cancer! I have not progressed so far as to see any humour in my situation at all but I have begun to find some smouldering resilience.