You would have thought that I would have allowed preparation time before visiting my “insert euphemism of choice” friend…But I didn’t even think about it until the journey home. Should I have shared some unspoken truths? Should I have detailed what she means to me? Should I have told her things about herself that have inspired me? Her part in not letting me always make the easy choices?
No! We are friends, the closest of friends and that is enough. We don’t need to voice this stuff…we know…We have had 40 years of sharing, challenging each other, leading each other astray and back again.
So…we did something else…Firstly we pondered the state benefit which is paid when doctors give patients less than 6 months to live. How many people outlive this prognosis? What happens then? Does it continue to be paid? Does someone ring up to say you have had your 6 months…your time is up?? Then we reminisced briefly and how we laughed (guffawed even) remembering the scraggy, earnest school kids we were sitting in my freezing-cold study bedroom at boarding school pondering the big stuff of life and now we were curled up, in the warm, on the cosy sofa being far more nonchalant about facing impending death. What else can you do? You gotta laugh…
…and anyway it wasn’t goodbye because I am going back