“Hey that’s no way to say goodbye” v2

…and so we will scatter my friend/my former friend/my beloved dead friend? And…whilst the “sensible” is discussed and arranged, I ponder the unorthodox/the daft/the disrespectful/the offbeat/the quirky/the fearless which is how I remember her. How can there be so many websites dedicated to ideas surrounding the “disposal” of ashes? It’s an industry. I am torn between heartbreak/loss and thinking just how we would have cackled (there is no other word) at the possibilities.

A small sample below of those that have tickled me especially when thinking just how wrong they could all go…

• You can pour ashes into a striking piece of sculpture (if you happened to have a striking piece of sculpture to hand)
• Mix them with clay or concrete and make something. (something? hmmmm) A builder had his made into paving slabs. He said he’d been walked over all his life, he fancied more of the same when dead. (Is this for real?)
• Commission an artist to mix them with paint and create a portrait (can’t think anything other than gruesome or more akin to Grimms Fairy Tales)
• Fire them out of shotgun cartridges. Speak to a gunsmith (wonder where I find one of these?)
• Have them pressed into a vinyl record which will play your favourite music (on what?)
• Scatter them from a hot air balloon or a light aircraft (both of course readily accessible).
• Scatter them at sea (“The Viking Longboat Urn will give a send off to remember: set upon the water, set adrift and set alight. Then as the fire ebbs away the boat sinks gracefully below the water”) “gracefully” ?
• Have them made into a crystal windchime (why?)
• Have them mixed with glass and made into an ornament (“an ornament” – what kind of “ornament” would that be?)
• Keep some in a locket or a pendant. Really lovely things (really?)
• Have them made into a firework display (now we’re talking but not sure that amongst my acquaintance is a firework maker…damn!)
• Launch them into the stratosphere, where they will encircle the Earth (how? especially when neither handicrafts nor science was your thing)
• Bury them in an underwater reef (I am not sure this is permitted…is it?)
• Have them scattered from a radio-controlled helicopter (recipe for disaster but oh how perfect).

There also seems to be a dedicated vocabulary for this activity which includes such staples as “farewelling” “water soluble scattering urn” and even Trip Advisor gets in on the act with reviews on places to go/what to do…

Having already prepared my will; Power of Attorney; DNR order and Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment, it looks like I have yet more to consider…

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4 thoughts on ““Hey that’s no way to say goodbye” v2

  1. Oh, with a gin in my hand, this has topped off my afternoon perfectly! What a laugh – totally cracked me up. I cannot put into print what one of my friends did with her brother’s ashes, but we will discuss! When I next see you, which I hope will be soon … but maybe not til January xx

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  2. Goodness gracious.

    This is quite absurd! There is a novel here, waiting to be released ……

    Bev Jacobson
    Library Co-ordinator

    Campion Education (Aust) Pty Ltd

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  3. re breakages. do you have some Greek blood!!!!! I know someone who puts her husbands urn to watch T V when formula one racing is on.(weird or what)

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