The Ant-Man Cometh

I appear to have slumped back into my “Plagues of Egypt” period. Ants are attempting a pincer movement in my kitchen (worktops, cupboards, floor, bin) and my counter-offensive is proving useless. I have called for backup but apparently that can only be provided once the ants are identified…only garden ants or pharaoh ants can be “resolved” by pest control.

Whilst I was struggling with identification issues a friend knowledgeably remarked that the pharaoh variety sported headresses and sandals. I don’t have them. However the ant-man cometh and I am relying on the fact that:

  • he has better eyesight than me
  • I have the common or garden variety of ant
  • he has better seek and destroy know-how than I do.

Identification is the buzz word of the week here. Identifying my medical “problem” and identifying myself. It appears that the hospital departments I contact do not have any record of me. I am wondering if this works like unsolved crimes. If I don’t exist then I do not need diagnosis or possible expensive treatment or monitoring and hospital “success rates” improve. My ECG results are..who knows where? My neurology results (from my hospital stay) are…who knows where?…and my echo results seem to exist only when I am physically in that hospital department. The chink of light is that my full set of CT scans are clear (I say clear in the sense that nothing new has popped up and that what is there is being kept at a standstill by the herceptin).

I am trying to see this as positive. If I don’t exist then I don’t have any medical problems, therefore travel insurance and driving need not be an issue. But it is never going to be that simple.



2 thoughts on “The Ant-Man Cometh

  1. Hi Wendy!

    Try talcum powder sprinkled at all point of ingress (of ants – not you). it confuses the poor things and they will turn away. I have become so sensitive as I become older that I cannot even kill ants! I think I am a closet Buddhist.

    Bev Jacobson
    Library Co-ordinator

    Campion Education (Aust) Pty Ltd


  2. Maybe it was all a dream? Personally I think you were abducted by aliens and the re-entry went wrong last time. I am not how insurance companies assess that risk? You probably have to consult a bulldog or a meerkat
    The whole thing is becoming Kafkaesque
    Margaret xx


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