Tag Archives: diagnostic testing

There’s no place like home….

Whilst I love my home…I wish I could do “Dorothy’s” trick, click my heels and be transported elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, it is very lovely not to be in hospital, but not being diagnosed brings a whole raft of new and different problems and restrictions. Whilst I knew I was never going to defy the cancer, I did really think I could duck and dive my way round diagnostic testing to enable me to follow my dreams. But no…

So, new situation new dreams…

Whilst I remain fairly fragile, lethargic, anxious, exhausted yet wakeful (fearing the hallucinations) my brain continues to process the changes and is now on a major diversionary route. The consequences are that I’m now thinking…topiary..never let it be said that my dreams have diminished in size (and of course doo-wop remains on the list of possibilities.)


…and I have a new pigeonhole to nest within. It appears that (if I have enough energy, commitment and develop a love/tolerance for phonecalls and paperwork) I can become a “Category H” disabled person and qualify for a free bus pass. But if and only if, I can provide evidence (and there’s the rub) that I am liable to sudden attacks of giddiness or fainting OR that I have “another medical condition” which means I would be a danger to the public if I drove. I think any word with “other” in has to be the category for me.

Fainting is the latest explanation I have been given for my ICU stay. I am told that fainting can be fatal. Who knew?



Doing Living To Death

Having resolved some things, parked some things and walked away from others I am ready to start some journeying.

  • I have made decisions about dispensing with as much diagnostic testing as I am able. This has been and will remain a challenge.
  • I am not trying to run away
  • I am fearless and self-sufficient
  • I feel comfortable enough with myself, my own abilities and my prognosis
  • I (finally) realise just how many dreams I had been harbouring and how many of them can be realised

and I plan to “do” living to death…if you know what I mean.

So…two travelling adventures booked for 2016 and two “pending”. I am determinedly moving out of the “horrible” years….annus horribilis, followed by the annus horriblier and then horribliest with abandon. Planning to do a full-frontal charge into the (what I hope will be) my annus mirabilis or even (and I do dare dream) anni mirabiles – if my Latin is correct after all these years.