Tag Archives: Israel

57, and not planning to be out…

It is now almost 4 years since I thought I had only those 4 years and so I have been celebrating a birthday. I don’t care what age I am, whatever the age, it is truly something to enjoy. Every year feels like a bonus and I am happy that I am actually here to get older.

  • Dealing with each day as if it is my last has engendered an attitude of awareness of what makes me tick, big or small.
  • I am thinking myself “well”
  • Physical travelling has been indulged – in the past 4 years I have been on so many adventures and am loving it…Crete, Israel, Jordan, Deep South US, Salzburg, Romania, Bulgaria, Croatia, Serbia, Hungary, St Petersburg, Dublin, Saint Lucia as well as Hay-on-Wye, Brighton, Bath, Manchester, Harrogate, Liverpool.
  • Not sweating the trips or outings I have had to cancel
  • Perhaps more importantly I have also travelled from utter despair to contentment, albeit taking a rather kinked? kinky? tangential? route
  • Living life vicariously is not living at all
  • Family and friends (ancient & modern) have made the world a better place for me
  • I have reframed the challenges I want to undertake and have, finally, accepted that some you win, some you lose!
  • I also know how easily tired I get and am learning (or, more truthfully, am on the learning curve for) how to stop/opt out/cancel/take time out when head says yes and body says no.
  • Indulging my creative and academic sides through writing, art, silversmithing, photography, studying again….and on a different level altogether – nail art, taxidermy…the list keeps on growing
  • My new benchmarks for living – serendipity, psychotherapy, reading and laughing whilst climbing every mountain (as it were!)
  • I am not planning on dying with any regrets of things not done/achieved
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It’s the night before Christmas…again…

As this year starts to wind in its neck, I am reflecting on the number of obstacles I have negotiated this year (which I already knew were on the horizon when I predicted 2015 as my annus horribliest). They have come and gone…and I haven’t.

  • Deaths – 2 (my friend/my cousin)
  • Marriage – decree absolute achieved after finally starting to realise that the whole 23 years had been a chimera
  • Sale of “family” home
  • Trumped up, desperate allegations delivered by the police from my former friend – TWICE!
  • continuing treatment of cancer

…and others…

But as it turns out there are silver linings

  • I am still alive
  • I have a lovely new home which I have furnished and adorned without having to refer/defer to anybody
  • I find I do have a sense of adventure. I started the year in Israel in an attempt to “connect” to my roots in some way…it may demonstrate how shallow I am that I did “connect” in the music-riven Bible Belt of the Deep South of US in the Fall of the year. Both trips really drilled down into my inner core and are helping me in all sorts of ways.
  • (…and going back to being shallow) I like being a UK size 10 (and even bought an item of Size Zero clothing this year)…AND…I have a pair of leather trousers.
  • I have people (who I love and who love me) surrounding me as much or as little as I want
  • continuing treatment of cancer
  • I am happy

..and to return to the night before Christmas. I have not, or not as yet…broken the trifle dish…last year I had only pedestal to serve…this happened twice. Fingers crossed for this year.

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