It is now almost 4 years since I thought I had only those 4 years and so I have been celebrating a birthday. I don’t care what age I am, whatever the age, it is truly something to enjoy. Every year feels like a bonus and I am happy that I am actually here to get older.
- Dealing with each day as if it is my last has engendered an attitude of awareness of what makes me tick, big or small.
- I am thinking myself “well”
- Physical travelling has been indulged – in the past 4 years I have been on so many adventures and am loving it…Crete, Israel, Jordan, Deep South US, Salzburg, Romania, Bulgaria, Croatia, Serbia, Hungary, St Petersburg, Dublin, Saint Lucia as well as Hay-on-Wye, Brighton, Bath, Manchester, Harrogate, Liverpool.
- Not sweating the trips or outings I have had to cancel
- Perhaps more importantly I have also travelled from utter despair to contentment, albeit taking a rather kinked? kinky? tangential? route
- Living life vicariously is not living at all
- Family and friends (ancient & modern) have made the world a better place for me
- I have reframed the challenges I want to undertake and have, finally, accepted that some you win, some you lose!
- I also know how easily tired I get and am learning (or, more truthfully, am on the learning curve for) how to stop/opt out/cancel/take time out when head says yes and body says no.
- Indulging my creative and academic sides through writing, art, silversmithing, photography, studying again….and on a different level altogether – nail art, taxidermy…the list keeps on growing
- My new benchmarks for living – serendipity, psychotherapy, reading and laughing whilst climbing every mountain (as it were!)
- I am not planning on dying with any regrets of things not done/achieved
Should I stay or should I go?
So…I approach the moment of truth..hospital doctors say yes, travel insurers say perhaps…Consequently yet another clinician has to be involved as it seems everything balances on what is said in my medical notes and how that compares to what I need it to say. All this in order to get insured to kick-start anything on the scale of a vagabond lifestyle…
Not only do I now need to attend multiple regular medical tests (to keep them “happy”, makes me neither happy nor re-assured) but also these appointments to see how I have been coded by the GP from the spider’s web of data she is getting from multiple departments. Fngers crossed that it matches what the insurers have strongly hinted is required.
I am now 2 weeks off having to pay the balance for the big adventure I have planned for later in the year, with yet more uncertainty seeping into the mix. Insurance aside, am I actually strong enough now to cope with such a big trip, perhaps I’m not? Whilst uncertainty seems to be a way of life for me…it would be so great to have some fixed points.
So I have made one. I could completely drown in this medical madness but instead have taken some diversionary steps. I am going to do something I have long hankered after and have booked a trip (with friends) to Salzburg for 3 full days of Sound of Music immersion (and accompanying kitsch). Something, I imagine, everyone hankers after..?
I was depressed to find that whilst I could flounce around the city singing and wearing curtains, I would not be able to hide behind the gravestones in the convent with Rolf’s torch flickering over me before my escape. Alas this set was man-made and dwells in Hollywood. The rest, however is there to discover…But first a visit to Oxfordshire Drama Wardrobe to select the right “costume” even though there is a “rent a dirndl” option with the tour (good for backup)…